The Indie Informer

The original Turnip Boy game is not known for restraint, but y’all the developers shoot for the moon with Turnip Boy Robs a Bank — and it mostly gets there. Two days after killing a god and one day after the War began, our rosy-cheeked, leafy-crowned protagonist gets a call from his one-time enemy making him an offer he can’t refuse.

It’s time to have the time of your turnip life robbing a bank.

So outrageous are the trappings of this game, it’d be easy for me to go off on tangents. So, before going too far down this dark garden path, I want to focus on what, exactly, it is.

Really, it’s two things. A Roguelike and a Zelda-like. And it impressively manages to be both simultaneously. The gameplay loop calls for me to enter a large bank, nabbing as much money as I can, defeating enemies, and returning to my hidden base before time runs out or I die. The timer — which represents the duration your jammer will keep calls from going out to the police for extra backup — is a motivating mechanic that puts me in mind of Minit.

But I’m not just smashing and grabbing. Littered throughout every level are scores of needy vegetables calling out for a hero to complete their quests. Accomplishing tasks can reward me with objects to help me venture deeper into the bank’s vaults — or fashionable hat. Either way, I always had a blast completing missions. Thankfully, non-combatants can’t be injured. So, I never have to worry that sweeping into a room guns blazing might lock me out of a quest.

One run through the bank can only get me so far. As I burst through its maze of a floorplan, I take out armed security with twin-stick shooting action. Some guards are even kind enough to drop new weapons for me. With these and my ill-gotten cash in hand, I escape back to the warehouse to spend it all.

After returning from a successful job, my hideout holds everything I need to do even better next time. The Dark Web offers tempting tools, like lasers to cut through safes, for the right price. Money can also buy me some “performance enhancers” that increase my total health, up my damage, or make my trigger finger just that much faster. And to top it all off, a helpful pair of twins take care of all my weaponry needs — whether through saving my loadout or helping me research new guns by turning in ones grabbed along the way.

All of this very serious-sounding subject matter comes with a fantastically generous amount of humor. I never wanted to skip dialogue from any character because I never knew when I’d be hit with an sudden cult reveal or bizarrely comical lore. Like my man who just wants to be a rat or the (literal) nut that has seen some things in the War. It’s always over the top, but never too much.

One of my favorite whimsical elements that feeds the gameplay really well is the elevators that go to wherever the heck they feel like going. Once you’re in, you don’t really get a say in where you’ll end up. It could be the depths of hell or a mundane office. Mostly these erratic conveyors aren’t necessary for the critical path, but entering one is almost always a good choice.

Another piece of clever game making was the level design. Fighting a boss always leads, in one way or another, to a shortcut system which stayed permanently unlocked. This allowed me to bypass areas I’d previously completed in past runs, rather than making me waste my precious time backtracking. There’s also a semi-fast travel system involving trains to help with this as well. Though, I have no idea how a public transit system works in a bank.

Sadly, there are a few bad apples in this otherwise appealing bunch. Most notably the final task to get to the end boss. In a game that had, up to that point, been so good at sparing the player tedium, I cannot fathom why the developers made the choices they did here. And not including a checkpoint in between large sections of this onerous mission was rough. But despite not controlling as well as some of the most praised of roguelikes, I don’t have much more to complain about. Especially as the accessibility options helped me immensely to get through this part without ripping my hair out.

Turnip Boy Robs a Bank is good, dumb fun held up by intelligent design choices. Don’t be afraid to pick this game up if you haven’t played the first because it does a good job of getting players up to speed. It’s also my favorite of the two so far.